Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
