STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
