Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
