You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
