She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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