Operation Purity has been aborted
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
