then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
