Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm eating all of the evidence.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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