im about as happy as oj after his trial
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
