bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
