Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Houston, we have a blender
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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