I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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