If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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