so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
this hospital has no fireball
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
