Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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