I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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