yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
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Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
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Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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