the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
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