i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
