I'm gonna have a badass scar
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
