I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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