Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
