He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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