tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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