the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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