Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just high enough for therapy.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
