You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
