Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
