Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
