I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
