He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
