Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
we're so committed to being not committed
where are my eyebrows?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
