maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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