Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just had sex on a roof
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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