What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
