were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
