I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
