whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
