There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
