I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
