He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
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She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
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Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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