dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
