Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
