no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
