I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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