Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.