I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize