hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are