I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt