it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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