Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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