I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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