anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
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The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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