covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
