Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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