Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
