Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
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He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
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I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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