U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
