there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize