This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
How external is "for external use only"?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
