that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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