she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
