Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
