idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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