hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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