And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
