i permit you to call me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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