dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
