He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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