you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
