Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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