He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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