Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
