So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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