You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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