Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
