The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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